Steve rests ...
( The rebroadcast was this }
[Vyvyan comes downstairs, wearing a crash helmet and carrying a cricket bat.]
VYVYAN: Here they are, El Presidente!
[Pushes Rick and Neil into the living room, throws them down.]
Starting an insurgence! I'll teach you to try and assassinate the President!
[Mike comes in, wearing a black leather trenchcoat and hat, chewing on a big cigar. Vyvyan salutes.]
El Presidente!
RICK: What the ruddy heck is going on?
VYVYAN: Shut your face, traitor! [Hits Rick in the crotch with the bat]
RICK: Hah! Missed both my legs! [grimaces]
VYVYAN: Shut up! [Hits Rick in the head]
NEIL: [picks a piece of gum off the floor] Who's been sticking gum on the floor?
[puts it in his mouth]
MIKE: Silence.
VYVYAN: Silence!
MIKE: Gentlemen, good morning.
VYVYAN: Good morning.
MIKE: I'm glad you could all make it, cause if you hadn't, you wouldn't be here.
VYVYAN: Wouldn't be here.
MIKE: Now, what were you two doing in the broom cupboard?
VYVYAN: Good question.
NEIL: Uh...oh, yeah, we were having a house meeting, yeah.
MIKE: Impossible.
VYVYAN: Impossible! [Hits Neil with the bat]
MIKE: Because Colonel Vyvyan and myself held a house meeting a quarter of an hour ago upstairs. And, I'm afraid to say, under the new regulations, non-attendance at house meetings is punishable by death.
VYVYAN: Ha ha ha. Death.
MIKE: I would like to overlook this, but unfortunately, you two seem reponsible for certain other criminal activity.
VYVYAN: Ha ha!
MIKE: Namely, loitering with intent...
VYVYAN: Good one.
MIKE: ...conspiring in the broom cupboard...
VYVYAN: Brilliant.
MIKE: ...and damaging police equipment. [Vyvyan shows Neil the chip in his cricket bat.] However, I, El Presidente...
VYVYAN: [salutes] Viva El Presidente!
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